I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize