We're like a lot better than the average bears
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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