she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
