some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
