I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
