He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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