after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
