Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I still have a little drunk in my system
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
