guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
