i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize