I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
this is an emotional support booty call
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
