Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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