Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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