no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
