I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize
