Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
