How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
