I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
