weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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