why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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