just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
