dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
