im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
