try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
