I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
