omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
