he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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