Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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