Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
