I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
