her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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