I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
