just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The Olympian is in my bed
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
