Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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