the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
