Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
