you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
