he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
