I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Pants are for mortals
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
