he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
two words: eviction party
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
