Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Floor bacon is actually really good
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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