Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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