I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
