Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
