i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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