we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
