the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
