I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
