He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
