Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
