i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
