she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize