there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
