someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
