he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
