uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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