doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
