i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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