oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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