my vag is so smooth its legendary
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
sex in a hospital.. check
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
