She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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