Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
