we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
