So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Just pee around me
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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